Well, Well. Another Argument With My Wife

Well, Well. Another Argument With My Wife

Yesterday my wife and I got into a heated discussion about finances. Ok, I’ll come clean. It was an argument.

The thing is, it wasn’t actually an argument about finances. It was deeper. I’ve found most arguments aren’t really about what they are about.

This verse popped into my head during the fray:

The purpose in a man’s heart is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out. Proverbs 20:5

I’m not exactly sure how a theologian would interpret that verse, but yesterday it was telling me I needed to stop and figure out what the argument was really about. Why had I reacted to a simple statement? Why was I bringing up stuff from a year ago to defend my case?

Probably because my heart is a deep well. There’s lots of debris that I can’t get to because it’s settled on the bottom. I rarely dive that deep. But in an argument I stir it all up and it comes to the surface.

Once I stopped trying to defend myself and quit bringing up the past we got to the heart of the issue pretty quickly. We talked about it and really grew in our understanding of each other.

We human beans are deep wells. No matter how clear the water looks, there’s lots of debris at the bottom. When that stuff gets stirred up I have to remember it’s a great chance for me to deal with it and get that well a little bit cleaner.