What If ______ Never Changes?

What If ______ Never Changes?

I’ve had quite a few early morning prayer vigils over the last few weeks. They usually happen between the hours of 2:00am and 4:00am.

I wish I could tell you it’s because I’m so spiritual. But it’s not. Truth be told they aren’t really prayer vigils at all, they are worry vigils.

I lay there trying to keep still so I don’t wake my wife, but in my head is a maelstrom of anxiety:

What if Emily were to die? Or what if my parents die?

What if _________________ never changes? Will I have to live like this forever?

It usually takes me about half an hour to figure out what I’m doing – worrying.

I’ve realized recently that this routine is mental warfare. And I lose quite regularly.

The only way I’ve figured to win the nightly battle with my brain is by quoting Bible verses to myself. One in particular is quite a Hellfire missile of peace.

You keep him in perfect peace
whose mind is stayed on you,
because he trusts in you.

-Isaiah 26:3