Why Won’t God Heal My Wife?

Why Won’t God Heal My Wife?

Emily gets headaches a lot. We got an MRI a while back and ruled out all the major stuff. They think it is allergies. She just toughs through it most of the time.

This morning at 2:00am I woke up. She was next to me. I could smell the peppermint oil she uses to alleviate the pain. I knew she must have a headache. So I prayed. Again. For the thousandth time. Lord, please heal Emily’s head.

Sometimes when I’m praying I imagine Jesus coming down, touching Emily’s head and fixing whatever it is that’s wrong. After all, he made her. He knows what’s going on.

But last night there was no imagining. I was angry. God, why haven’t you healed Emily? She’s so sweet and loves you. I’m the one that always fights and doubts you. She has way more faith than me. Give those headaches to me!

I have it all figured out in my head why those headaches should be gone. I just can’t understand why God isn’t doing something about it.

Chesterton once said, “It is the logician who seeks to get the heavens into his head. And it is his head that splits.” That’s the risk I run most of the time. My head splitting with frustration.

I will never fully understand why God allows what he does. Sometimes I may be fortunate enough to get a glimpse of what he’s up to. But most of the time he leaves me to wander and wonder. He doesn’t seem to feel any need to explain himself to me.

So I have two choices. I can get mad and go mad. Or I can trust and keep praying that his will be done.

I’m convinced that’s the essence of extraordinary faith. It’s believing God can heal, save, deliver, set things right. But even if he doesn’t do what I think best, he is God and is worthy of my respect and praise. And ultimately, I’m certain he will make all things good.

 

O Lord, my heart is not lifted up;
my eyes are not raised too high;
I do not occupy myself with things
too great and too marvelous for me.
But I have calmed and quieted my soul…

Psalm 131