Why Would I Want to Know a God Like That?

Why Would I Want to Know a God Like That?

As I’ve been seeking counsel about direction in 2015 the constant theme I keep hearing is: Get to know God better.

I’ve been trying to take time every day to do that. I read. I pray.

But yesterday Emily and I went to visit a dear friend who is lying brain-dead in a hospital. I’ve known her and her family for 25 years. One month ago during a freak accident while giving birth she became brain-dead and has been lying in a vegetative state ever since.

Her 7 kids, husband and about 10,000 other people have been praying hard for her healing. But it’s not looking promising.

That’s my crisis in the corner of my little world of northwest Houston.

Then I read about Boko Haram killing 2,000 people in Nigeria. The world has truly gone mad. Though I seriously doubt it’s ever been sane.

I’ve been walking with the Big Guy long enough that bad stuff happening isn’t gonna rock my faith. I’m so far invested in the Christian thing that I’d be a fool to turn and go somewhere else. Plus, I’ve seen God’s blessings in such abundance that I have no doubt God is good.

The question I’m asking now is: How do you “get to know” a being who seems to delight in remaining a mystery?

That friend of mine in the hospital and her husband are the most generous people I know. Not only that, they felt a strong call from God to bring lots of kids onto the planet. They took is seriously. Raising kids was an act of worship to God. Why would God let this happen to her and not some couple who had no desire for kids? It’s less damage overall right?

I read the Bible and God wipes out entire races of people. He lets destruction fall. He allows good kings like Josiah to die young (2 Chron. 25:20) and let’s wicked ones rule for years. What the heck?

If God really wants me to “know him better” then why make it so hard. Why be so unpredictable? Why not be a little more logical God. Why not stop making it so hard for us mere mortals? You know we are limited. If you really want us to know you then for goodness sake – start making some sense. Be more consistent.

Long story short. After much mental wrestling, I’ve concluded that people are wrong. I refuse to spend this year getting to know God better. That is an exercise in futility.

Instead, this year I resolve to learn to trust God better. To simply lean into him. To say, “God your ways are ridiculous – but I trust you.” I trust you are leading me. I trust your plan is good. I trust that though he slay me, I will hope in him… (Job 13:15) And that is what I will do this year.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, 
and do not lean on your own understanding. Proverbs 3:5