To Lazy Men and the Women Who Love Them

To Lazy Men and the Women Who Love Them


I regularly get letters from women telling me how much their husband wants to do Summit Leaders coaching or go on a trip. They tell me how a Summit Leaders experience will be “the perfect thing for him.” They ask if I will contact their husband.

After doing this for a while I’ve learned that what they are actually saying is, “My husband is kind of lazy and I want someone to push him to do something. Will you change him for me?”

So now I simply write back to the well-meaning wife and say, “Have your husband contact me. I’d love to help.”

I have yet to hear back from a single one of those husbands. But I don’t expect to, because I learned one simple truth long ago:

People don’t change until they want to change. If they really want something they’ll stop at nothing to get it.

So, I always have to remind myself of the following:

  1. You can’t change other people. So stop trying. It’ll just wear you out. The best thing you can do is work on yourself. Be an example of change.
  1. You have the capacity to do amazing things. You just have to want it bad enough. You may have to force yourself into a place that leaves you no choice but to take action. You may have to overcome lots of challenges. But you can do it. As my friend Kelli says, “Desperation is rocket fuel.”

Combine your desperation to change with God’s power working in you and I’m pretty convinced you can figure out a way to do just about anything. You can break the habit. You can pay off the debt. You can lose the weight. You can change your course. You can pursue the dream.

The first sign that you want it bad enough is you make a goal. Then you set up accountability. So go ahead. Take those steps. You might just be surprised at what happens when you get serious. Start today.