3 People You Should Remove From Your Life

3 People You Should Remove From Your Life


Jim Rohn once said, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”

Meaning, look at your five closest friends’ strengths, weaknesses, successes and failures – you are right in the middle of them. That’s fine if you are content with that. But if you look around at your friends and become worried, it might be time to prune some friendships and develop some new ones.

You should always do it carefully and prayerfully. You don’t need to give a big speech or explain to them why you are cutting them off. Just choose to pull away quietly and love them from a distance. Always give them a chance to change, but in the meantime be cautious about how much time you give them. They may actually be holding you back from what God wants to do in your life.

Here are three particular types of people I’ve learned it is best to remove from your circle of friends.

1. The Complainer – For several months I had to share a work shift with a chronic complainer. She complained about everything – the management, certain races, the food at work, etc. We worked very closely for those months and became friends. I didn’t realize what it was doing to me until one day a dear friend of mine said she didn’t want to hang out. I asked why. She was happy to tell me. “All you do is complain anymore. It’s annoying. You sound like _________.” (The exact person I had been working with.) Complainers will bring you down. Fast. Stay away from complainers. If you are a complainer, please stop.

2. The Envier – On one particular Summit Leaders team I led several long-time friends of mine came along. One of the friends commented to me during the hike, “It’s really pretty impressive that you can get away with charging your friends to hang out with you.” That statement really bothered me. It caused me to evaluate the friendship for several months. I began to see a pattern of this person always belittling or attacking any success God allowed in my life. There are often people in your life who actually resent you succeeding. Sadly, these people can be family and those closest to us. It may be hard, but do your best to put some distance between yourself and those people.

3. The Fool – King Solomon defines a fool as someone who makes the same mistakes over and over. The worst kind of fool is a scoffer – someone who actually mocks wise counsel. They are the unteachable-type who refuse to listen and learn. They just want to share their own opinions. They cause all sorts of trouble for themselves and the people around them. I’ve suffered harm because I hung out with fools. You probably have too. Proverbs 22:10 says, Cast out the scoffer, and contention will go out.

It takes courage to end relationships. And you always want to do it gently and carefully. But to get where you really want to go you might need to remove some people from your life. Be gracious, but choose to love them from a distance.

He who walks with the wise will become wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm. (Pr. 13:20)